I was also thinking what's the difference between hope and expectation after I had a conversation with Oka the other day... I looked up the meaning of those words.
Well for me, the simplest thing I can think of... when we have expectation, and our expectation is not fulfilled, we will be hurt, feeling down. While for hope, when we have hope, and our hope is not fulfilled, we will be stronger and accept it. Hope brings strength while expectation brings negativity.
In the topic of love and relationship, what I learn...
1. We can never tell another person what we want them to do or to be, we can only share how we feel about them or what they do (My dad taught me this)
2. We are created by God so that we can complete each other. That means we have a need, a slot, a lacking that God will answer through others.
I totally agree with point No 1. And it's difficult for me to do. Sometimes when I start telling or influencing others to do something or be like this or that, I would reason my self and say that he or she needs to be corrected or I put a thought that the person needs help. And most of the times when I do this, I will not realize it unless another person rebuke me.
At the same time I agree with Fr Joe when he gave a sermon in Chris and Mita's wedding. He said it is true that we have to accept people as they are, but it doesn't mean that we should not challenge them to be better. The conclusion I got, we must be careful in positioning our heart, do we challenge people to be better and we grow together, or we think others as more frail than us (The Imitation of Christ Book 1 Chapter 2). So yea I'm still struggling to be humble.
As for No 2, the need of one another to complete us is there. How we respond to that need, how we act upon that need will show how mature we are in relationships. Ka, I believe this is the part where you say we must not put ourselves as the center right? Agree with you on this one =)
About learning to love, a priest once gave a sermon at church in Jakarta. He said, one would not be able to love unless one experience love it self. Then I realize a newly born baby learns about love from their parents. People who does not encounter affection in their family learns about love from friends or maybe their boyfriend / girlfriend who shows them love.
For me, I first consciously learn about love from my friends in junior high school. For me even though my parents showed me love, I did not open my self to them. While to my friends, I allowed my self to be open, it is then when I learn about love. Then from there, they lead me to Jesus... and from there I learn to open my self to my parents... and then... I learn to love them and learn a deeper meaning about love from them.
I totally agree with Oka that people should not stop their understanding of love on other people, because God is love. So we should know God when we know love. I do believe that God will bring his children to Him in the journey where we learn to love.
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- Being grateful of the little things in life He has given me